Sometimes when I share the snapshot of my adult life, I get reactions of empathy and sorrow. Other times, relatable connections. And still some other times, someone most definitely had it worse. But who are we to quantify someone else's suffering anyway? One persons worst case scenario could be another persons best day ever. If your dream is to interact with spiders in any way, case in point...as that is my absolute avoidance! It's all in the mind. This truth has yet to set me free completely from my fear of spiders, or the emotional challenges of life, but perhaps the perspective shifted just a little. I am beyond fortunate and grateful, even for the snapshot of sorrow as it lead to the motivation to be free.

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I lived a blessed and basic small town childhood. School was a challenge, thanks to dyslexia - but I truly do thank dyslexia for so much in my life! I was the bossy big sister to two little brothers, and when I was 15 I found out I had a 1/2 sister in Texas who was 28...we became instant besties! I married my high school sweetheart at age 21 and was blessed with 3 babies before I turned 29. But something else happened before I turned 29 too... at age 15 my youngest brother was diagnosed with stage 4 Neuroblastoma, a childhood cancer. We found out on my 25th birthday - you will come to see that birthdays carry a weird weight in my life. Perspective. 

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When someone close to you battles illness, it can awaken different beasts within them, and in those around them. My brother, Nick, was the most impeccable example of not becoming a victim of circumstances, but rather transforming the really shitty, into motivation to never waste a single moment or breath given. I miss him. The beneficial beast  he awoke, we all are capable of stirring from slumber, and we do not need a terminal cancer diagnosis to do so. It's the mind. 

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Now we find ourselves in an epidemic of illness that is less visible and far more misunderstood...it's illness of the mind. It is unlikely that anyone reading this has not encountered mental illness on some level, personally or within your sphere. My new found sister, a former partner, my own daughter just to name a few. Illness can be a catalyst for healing. Anger. Toxic empathy. Fierce compassion. 3 ways I dealt with witnessing mental illness. 3 different outcomes. For some, the pain of witnessing such suffering is so deeply felt that you might think they were the one experiencing the illness - indeed I felt this, so much so that I became physically ill. How can we ACTUALLY help others if we ourselves are not well? Motivation to work on the mind. 

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Amidst the challenges, there have been so many joys. So much love. So many blessings. When we begin to have deeper faith in the ability to be free of suffering, it becomes difficult to define what is actually a blessing, and what might be a blessing disguised. What we once perceive a tragic, may actually be a trajectory to happiness. It is my hope that by sharing here, even just one person may find a relatable story though the Mind Yours Blog that awakens them to a brighter existence, and that they become a catalyst for others finding the same.