Teen Speak That We Should All Adopt

By: Alyson Franca Pollard

Mother's Day was a few days ago. As a mom of 3 teenagers I hear a lot of words spoken that have no meaning to me, but a lot to them. I had to turn to Unban Dictionary last week to know what it means to "rizz"...I was gratefully less horrified than what I was preparing myself for. Turns out it is like much of the rest of their language with a shortened nod to the proper word of "charisma". But it was what I heard a few weeks ago when I was driving my 13 year old son to a friends house that really got to me. A phone call to let his buddy know we were almost there. A hip salutation (the word salutation is apparently not hip). 'What's good, cuz?'. Maybe you have heard it too. Surely every generation has their own spin on the spoken word to which all the other generations scoff at, but this one struck me as profoundly meaningful. When I gasped and told him how much I loved that greeting and I was absolutely going to start saying it, the eye rolls and begging of me not to began.

What's good? An alternative to the often habitual 'how are you?' that we rarely ever give an unfiltered answer to when asked, or listen to the answer when we are asking. So what is it about 'what's good?' that hits different (another adopted phrase that my teens are mortified every time I say it)?

We are coming out on the other side of the 'good vibes ONLY' culture with a little perspective. 'Only' is a very limiting sentiment. But turning our minds to goodness and gratitude, that's whats good. Imagine having a shit day and you are greeted by someone asking you, "What's good?". Could these two simple words have the power to snap us out of doom and gloom, even for just a second? We might not always get a choice on how things are going in our day, or our entire human existence for that matter...but we can choose where to place our mind in a single instant.

I will save the details for another time, but I have witnessed mental health crises first hand (yes, that is plural because there have been multiple). So believe me when I say I understand the struggle to grasp the good at times, but I have also seen the undeniable power of it. **If you or anyone you know are struggling to find a single second of good, please call the crisis and suicide prevention hotline, 988**

It is not new news that consistently practicing gratitude has a profoundly positive impact on our entire well-being. So it might also not come as a surprise that we are in the throws of a societal depreciation of happiness. The ad culture of social media was literally created to make us discontent with what we already have and constantly one up our last purchase, and outdo the lifestyles of our "friends" online. Now I can already hear some of you saying, "but I love being connected with old friends and seeing their weddings, babies, graduations...and knowing when to send a condolence card for the loss of a loved one" or, "social media launched my business and I am eternally grateful and can't stop, won't stop!" Ok, I get it. Perhaps that's 'what's good'. It is a tool. So is a machete when used with caution and properly, and quite a handy one.

The average American checks their phone 159 times a day, with 2 hours and 27 minutes of that being social media scrolling - for all the anti-social media naysayers (as you should be!) out there, its not just Insta, Facebook, Snap and TikTok...LinkdIn counts too. While that number might sound staggering, go ahead and check your iOS screentime right now for your last weekly average...I bet it is more than that, mine was. And it's not just teens either, their stats are far more alarming. Overall screentime of which a vast majority is spent on social accounts; 5 hours and 33 minutes for 8-12 year olds, and 8 hours and 39 minutes for 13-18 year olds. What's good about any of that?

So with all those stats, you can better imagine my hearts delight when I heard my son ask his buddy to acknowledge goodness, not in comparison to filtered content, but on the spot goodness. My brain began it's ADHD highlight reel of studies I have seen on practicing gratitude - enhances dopamine and serotonin, regulates stress hormones, wires new neural pathways, reduces physical pain... and the list goes on. Now that is GOOD! Good on you kiddos, keep bringing out grateful awareness!

But there was one more word in there that we haven't addressed yet - I probably won't be saying it, but it had meaning to me nonetheless. 'Cuz', another shortened version of a proper word, 'cousin'. While one of my sons best friends IS his cousin (oh hey, Grey!), that is not where we were headed. The one-ness we have the ability to experience is a truly fortunate blessing of being human. We suffer when we create ego driven division (ahem, social media), and we experience more happiness when we are selfless. So calling each other 'cuz' can be a fresh, jovial reminder that we are indeed all connected. That by judging others, we are judging ourselves, and that by loving another, we are loving ourself.

Aren't teenagers funny? Walking around spatting out statements that they have no idea are truly remarkable. We probably shouldn't tell them because they will try their damndest never to say it again if we let on that we like it! We can just keep minding our mouths and the words that flow from them, and feel peace in our hearts about 'what's good'.